I'm always reading other people's blogs. I find myself in awe of what they've done whether it's weight loss, crafting, hair tutorials, pictures, etc. The weight loss ones are always the most interesting to me. I love seeing people's success stories and in the back of my head I think, I wish that was me.
I've tried it all, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, diet pills, personal trainers,17-day diet, fad diets, gym memberships, research, encouragement from family and friends, workout/diet buddies, weight loss competitions, I even ordered my wedding dress a size smaller for motivation. It all works great for the first few months and then after that, I gain back what I lost and usually more.
I'm sick of:
Being fat, feeling like crap, buying big clothes, losing my breath just walking around, being worried that the fat in my stomach has pushed down the zipper of my pants, having to wear Spanx in order to fit into clothes, having to retake pictures at a different angle because I look huge, being worried about going on an airplane and not fitting into the seat and crowding the person that I'm sitting next to, making excuses for not participating in certain activities because I'm afraid I'll look foolish doing it or embarrass myself, not being able to find boots that fit my calves, not getting a good nights sleep because I can't get comfortable or I wake myself up from snoring, wishing I looked cute for my husband, feeling bad about myself, not being able to wear the clothes that I want, breathing heavy, letting people walk in front of me because I don't want my butt being in their face, not being able to squeeze through tables at a restaurant or through crowds at a bar, not being able to run and play with my nephews as much as I want, not getting pregnant, having fat that jiggles all over my body, getting looks from people because of my size, fighting with my husband about making excuses about not going to the gym, being obsessed with food, talking myself out of eating good and working out, the feeling in my head when I know there is something bad to eat in the house and literally not being able to stop thinking about eating it, being lazy, not having any energy, thinking about the next meal, worrying about hiding food that I've eaten, the way I look, my big butt/thighs/stomach/arms/cheeks, being inactive, having clothes in my closet that I can't fit into, not having a winter coat because the brand new one that fit me last year doesn't fit me this year and I refuse to buy another one, going to a spa and having to ask for a men's robe because the women's doesn't fit, lying on a massage table or my acupuncturists table or the dentist chair and not being able to lay my arms next to me because I'm too wide, knowing that what I'm eating is wrong but I can't stop myself from doing it, having all of my pants wear out in the thighs because of all of their rubbing together, not being able to get out of a chair without thrusting myself out of it, sweating from just walking around or simple everyday activities, being embarrassed of my body in a locker room/changing room/in front of my husband, huge bras and underwear, back pain from carrying around so much weight, worrying that I'm going to have a heart attack, having to stretch out all of my clothes before putting them on, wearing shorts with my bathing suit, not being able to shop for clothes in the regular department/always having to find the plus size, being made fun of, not being able to get really close to my husband when I hug him because my stomach is in the way, always wondering what people think of me, worrying about how fat I look, worrying about how tight my clothes look, of always having to sit down or lean against something because I'm tired, of my feet hurting all of the time, my thigh going numb because my pant leg is cutting off circulation........I'm sick of it all.
I've started, stopped and started so many diets in the past and every time I make an excuse. I'm done, that's it, no more excuses. I want to be healthy, I want to get pregnant, I want to be able to do things with my family, I want to be active. There are so many things I want that I can't do because of my weight. It's not going to be easy, it's going to be hard, it's going to suck at times. I'm sure I won't be perfect, but I'm going to do it and document it. The goal of my blog is to document my weight loss. Hopefully it will help me see what's successful for me and what doesn't work and help me to hold myself accountable. Starting January 2nd, I plan to post what I eat on a daily basis (all of it, no secrets), pictures of me and every 10 lbs that I've lost. I'm hoping that I can look at this at the beginning of 2014 and think, "wow that IS me!"
